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“Oh, nice hair”, he said as he continued to sort out groceries.
She had been expecting more hype or comments on the details of her hair. Her spirit was down. She expected more and that was how the argument started.

“hey! How was your day?”, he asked.
“are you suddenly interested now?”, she replied.
“Do you ever notice how hard I try to make this relationship work? Do you know how much I sacrifice? Well, I don’t think so”, she continued.

The anger emanating from her words were so palpable he couldn’t understand what was happening.

“What’s the problem babe, we just finished having lunch”, he retorted.

“Oh, never mind. If you can’t deduce anything from all this, then don’t even bother”, she replied.

Well, you may be wondering why she was so upset or you already know why.
See? That is how people see things differently.

She was upset she wasn’t hyped enough about her new hair. He didn’t admire her enough. This led to a very long argument that almost led to a breakup.
This may sound so dumb but is the reality of many relationships of course in different forms.

People express themselves differently. Some people are more vocal than others, while some are just downright expressive.

Some show appreciation by gifting, while some offer acts of service or attention.
Everyone is different and partners should learn to communicate some of these expectations respectfully.

Relationships are not competitions.
Y’all are stressed cos you have laid out so many rules and are always overanalyzing with eagle’s eyes.

Let me see if he’ll call first, I can’t be the one to buy him a gift first this year, let me treat him this way and that way.. Y’all are always manipulating the ones you claim to love.
Instead of always waiting to see if he or she would do this or that, why not tell them what you expect from them?

Tell them first and wait to see how they respond while still loving them.
Some of you expect your partners to read your minds. They are not psychics.

You love flowers? Tell your partner. Buy them one as well.
Communicate things like; your kind of boundaries when it comes to the opposite sex, premarital sex, things you like to hear etc.
Tell them if they don’t speak words of appreciation enough, the kinds of gifts you like, if you’d like to go on dates more often. While you communicate all these, make sure you’re doing same for them, or at least ask them what they’d like.

Sometimes, societal constructs make it seem like only one gender is supposed to receive gifts, surprises, or should tender complaints of things they don’t like.
Don’t find it strange as a man to complain about the things you don’t like. Don’t die in silence. You deserve to be pampered too.
Men love flowers, pamper your man from time to time.

Love without bounds and if the other person doesn’t reciprocate then it’s safe to say they don’t love you back.

Relationships are not perfect and it is okay to pass through rough times cos it fosters growth and strengthens bonds.

Don’t be in an overly serious relationship where you have to analyze over and over before you perform an action.
Don’t be overly critical about your significant other. You’ll soon fall out of love with them.

Even you aren’t perfect and just because they don’t complain to you about your flaws doesn’t mean you don’t have any.

Learn to communicate without being judgmental. They are your partners not your rivals. You’re supposed to be in a loving partnership, not in a court room.

Once you see any action you don’t appreciate, respectfully speak to them about it and make them understand your stand. You may find out it is not a big deal to them, but if it bothers you, tell them.
Don’t expect them to know that it is wrong.
You are two different individuals with different values.

And… No honey! You and your partner cannot read each other’s minds.

Too many expectations ruin relationships, learn to speak your mind with caution…


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