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28
August
2021

MEN ALSO CRY

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He walked into the room and almost immediately she ended the call as she was startled.
“Ah ah, did you see a ghost?”, Vic asked her as she quickly locked her phone and rushed to hug him to avoid any questions.
Vic had been noticing these strange calls Amanda has been answering and the first time he asked, she said it was her course rep. She was simply enquiring about lectures.
Vic believed her and didn’t pry further, besides he loved her very much.

On her birthday, Vic had prepared a surprise for her and invited her over. He had spent so much money just to make her happy. They scheduled to meet at 2pm.
By 2pm her number was switched off. Vic tried reaching Amanda through her friend but they hadn’t heard from her either.

At about 7pm when Vic had given up on her coming, she showed up tired.
“Where have you been, I was so worried?”, Vic asked.
“I’m sorry, we haven’t had light for some days now that was why my phone went off and I had a lecture that took almost the whole day, I know I should have called, I’m so sorry”, Amanda answered.

Vic remembered asking her friend if she was in class but she said they had no lectures that day. He let it slide, at least she was okay.
That night the sex was so good that Vic got over the disappointment.

While they slept, Amanda’s phone rang, she muted the ringtone and quietly crept out of bed into the bathroom to take the call.
Vic got up and began to eavesdrop. He heard her faintly say “I’m sorry, I don’t want to disturb my mum, she’s sleeping. Yes, I’m home now”.

In the morning he confronted her about it because it made sense why she was late for the birthday surprise. She said she was trying to convince her course rep that she was not around so he could help her write attendance.
Vic sensed she could have been lying but decided to let it slide.

The next morning Amanda went into the shower leaving her phone on the bed. She got a message and the time attracted Vic as he looked at the phone.
The notification read “can’t wait to see you soon baby”.
Immediately she got out of the shower, he confronted her and she began to apologize.
She narrated how her ex had been trying to get in touch with her but she had refused.

She denied having met him or collected money from him, but said she had only been flirting with him over calls and messages.
The ex was the course rep all along.

June 2nd, Vic decided to pay her a surprise visit to make up for the birthday surprise that failed.
He had called earlier and she said she went to the market. He had her spare key and on reaching her house, he quietly wanted to go in to set everything up before she got back.
What his eyes saw, his mouth could not speak.
He caught her on the bed with her ex boyfriend.
He froze, time stood still. He had chills all over his body. He could not believe his eyes.

He stormed out of the room and headed straight to his house.
She called him countless times and sent him tons of messages to explain matters.
She was too scared to go to his house in person.
After a month of not talking, he was devastated. He loved Amanda and he couldn’t imagine starting all over with someone else.
Sex was good, she was nice to him, she was beautiful and very charming even though she didn’t really have clear plans for her future but he was willing to take care of her no matter what she decided to become.
He always encouraged her to study hard but she was more interested in looking for ways to sort her courses rather than studying. Still, he didn’t mind.

To his own surprise, he called her and was willing to forgive her.
She came over, they had good sex and made up. She didn’t bother talking about what had happened cos it would bring back memories. He simply just decided to move past it and move on.
She had changed her phone password and in fact she decided to switch off her phone the whole of that day.

A week later, she started telling Vic that she doesn’t think they are compatible anymore. Vic couldn’t wrap his head around it and told her he was willing to accept her with her flaws.

She started spending less time on the phone with Vic and a week after her last visit to Vic her engagement pictures surfaced online.
Vic nearly took his life and today he has decided to take advantage of any girl he meets and not care how they feel.

You see, a lot of times we assume that men don’t get heart broken. Oh! They definitely do.
The problem with a lot of them is that they tend to ignore the signs a lot. I’ve heard so many stories of men finding out their girlfriends are cheating or sneaking around and they either ignore or forgive without addressing the issues.

Sometimes, I notice that the girls in question do not add anything to these men except sex and sometimes cooking. They still bill them unnecessarily and I begin to ask myself, is it foolishness, low self esteem or village people?
When you choose to stay with an unrepentant cheating woman, don’t expect her to change in marriage cos you’ll be shooting yourself in the ass.
I hear some men make excuses for them and say “it’s because I’ve not married her yet, so she can’t commit totally to me. Once I do the needful she’ll calm down”.
Oshey, ice water!.

Marriage does not come with miracle subscription. Whatever you tolerate in your relationship, be ready to continue tolerating it in marriage.

Most men don’t come out to say these things because they are expected to ‘man up’ or they will be mocked because ‘how girl go play you like this’. But men cry and get cheated on too and it hurts them as much as it does women.

Dear men,
When you notice sneaky behaviour, address it. Stop making excuses for her.
Don’t let sex or her beauty blind you. There are still beautiful, smart, and responsible women. Don’t settle for less because of something so vain. It is better to keep your relationship free of sex, that way you will weigh your love on other factors without being emotionally biased. So many people have been trapped with sex when in reality there is no atom of value in their relationship.

Take the sex away and everything crashes.

Women are cunny, don’t let them manipulate you or take advantage of your love for them.
Set boundaries and have your deal breakers. If you start seeing things you didn’t sign up for, it is okay to break up. You will be fine. Stop entertaining nonsense and abuse in the name of love.

She doesn’t love you, she is using and abusing you. Love is kind and respectful. It is also possible that you don’t love her, you’re just listing after her or scared that you won’t find another person who will accept you.
Stop forcing people to be what they are not. Someone is obviously showing you that they cannot be with you or they can’t stay with one man, and you want to force them into being loyal to you. One day, the dog will go back to its vomitus.
So many men who have been served breakfast by mean ladies saw the red flags but kept on lying to themselves.

Before you have a relationship with someone’s daughter, you need to have a relationship with God first cos it will help set a lot of boundaries for you.
There are some things that will just be a no-no for you. You will weigh your partner on the word of God before you commit to them and most importantly, it will be your desire to abstain from sex u til you’re married. A lot of people don’t realize that once sex is jumped into first, it clouds your judgement and opens the door to a lot of discrepancies.

If you have been taken for granted, nothing is wrong with you.
It wasn’t your fault, it is not a reflection of who you are, but of who they are. Stop blaming yourself and stop trying to take your life.
She has probably moved on and doesn’t care about you.
Don’t let them change you into who you are not. You met the wrong person, take your lessons and set your standards. You’ll eventually meet the right person who will be worth your sacrifices and love.

Most times you don’t realise the real queens you can attract because you’re bent on keeping a maid in your castle. She won’t value it, she will only tear down your kingdom.

Don’t wait till you catch her sleeping with another man. Those signs are enough for you to make a decision.
Dear women,
Unu zukwaanu ike. I’ll come back with yours soon.

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